you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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