i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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