am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
