i think my tv is drunk
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had sex bonerless
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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