question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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