I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
