Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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