I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
