Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize