Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
