I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
