how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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