Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
