maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
