fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
