"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize