The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize