Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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