I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
