used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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