Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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