I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
