Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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