You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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