he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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