so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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