you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
