Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
