I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
