OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
