I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
