Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize