I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
