i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
