fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who died my cat blue again?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
