Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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