her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
