I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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