There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize