My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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