what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
