And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
