Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
