The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize