Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
