I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
