return my video game
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize