is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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