her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
