If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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