ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
