im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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