But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
