is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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