Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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