Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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