Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
