God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
