haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
