my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I need a beard to bite.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
