If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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