Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
