And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
