i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
