yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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