I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
