my sisters under your porch take her home
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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