Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
