So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
