I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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