i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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