i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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