apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize